The Sanctity of Marriage in China
I read recently a most ridiculous piece of news 《南京上百家庭为拆迁费排队离婚》(translation: Hundreds of Families Queue in Nanjing to Get a Divorce For Displacement Compensation). In early September, within two weeks, the Nanjing Civil Affairs Bureau (which handles marriages and divorces) had handled more divorce cases than an entire year’s worth the previous year.
Reporters who investigated discovered that these couples (some of them in their eighties!) were affected by an en-bloc redevelopment of their district. Their displacement compensation 拆迁费 is based on the number of registered families in their soon-to-be-demolished houses, and a divorce creates two families instead of one, effectively doubling the compensation they get. Some wise guy must have thought of this idea to make a quick buck out of the government, and the news soon spread.
China is a land where marriage is not considered something sacred. I do not blame them. When atheism rules, nothing is sacred. And so women leave their husbands when their business fails, and successful men tally a string of mistresses.
Marriage is simply a matter of showing up and putting on a signature on a document – a civil contract between two parties (incidentally, China does not give religious leaders – like pastors – the right to sign marriage documents). Divorces and 复婚 Reconciliations are also simply matters of showing up and putting on a signature on a document (granted that divorces are more complicated, since both sides have to declare property splits and custody, assuming an amicable agreement has been made).
I grew up understanding the sanctity of marriage, and it is enforced in my home country. In order to get married in Singapore, one has to wait at least 21 days, if not a few weeks before the Registry of Marriages is willing to let you register your marriage. Pastors and religious leaders are given the authority to register marriages, and for church weddings like mine, Kitten and I had to attend a compulsory marriage counselling course over 6 months.
Divorces are not so simple too. The couple has to show that they have separated for 3 years, before they can file for divorce. The only way to circumvent this 3 years rule is to declare that the marriage has not been consummated. Indeed, my marriage was that dangerously close to dissolution that first nine months, coming to think of it. I simply love Kitten too much to consider the alternative then.
I am not too sure how Reconciliations work in Singapore.
I brought this up to my family, and to White and Paul’s piano teacher (who was present), the “fake divorce” is no big deal, for they would simply reconcile after they get their apartments. I pointed out one issue – what if the other party changed their mind during their period of “divorce”? White retorted that in such a case, the divorce is actually a good thing. I was speechless. She was indeed right to say that.
I have made it very clear to Kitten that I will never “trade her in” for a “younger model”, to divorce her to marry a sweet young thing. A rash promise? I do not know. What I do know is that I say this from the bottom of my heart, and my readers on my blog now bear testimony to my words to her as well.
In sickness and in health, through richer or poorer, till death us do part. Amen.
Reporters who investigated discovered that these couples (some of them in their eighties!) were affected by an en-bloc redevelopment of their district. Their displacement compensation 拆迁费 is based on the number of registered families in their soon-to-be-demolished houses, and a divorce creates two families instead of one, effectively doubling the compensation they get. Some wise guy must have thought of this idea to make a quick buck out of the government, and the news soon spread.
China is a land where marriage is not considered something sacred. I do not blame them. When atheism rules, nothing is sacred. And so women leave their husbands when their business fails, and successful men tally a string of mistresses.
Marriage is simply a matter of showing up and putting on a signature on a document – a civil contract between two parties (incidentally, China does not give religious leaders – like pastors – the right to sign marriage documents). Divorces and 复婚 Reconciliations are also simply matters of showing up and putting on a signature on a document (granted that divorces are more complicated, since both sides have to declare property splits and custody, assuming an amicable agreement has been made).
I grew up understanding the sanctity of marriage, and it is enforced in my home country. In order to get married in Singapore, one has to wait at least 21 days, if not a few weeks before the Registry of Marriages is willing to let you register your marriage. Pastors and religious leaders are given the authority to register marriages, and for church weddings like mine, Kitten and I had to attend a compulsory marriage counselling course over 6 months.
Divorces are not so simple too. The couple has to show that they have separated for 3 years, before they can file for divorce. The only way to circumvent this 3 years rule is to declare that the marriage has not been consummated. Indeed, my marriage was that dangerously close to dissolution that first nine months, coming to think of it. I simply love Kitten too much to consider the alternative then.
I am not too sure how Reconciliations work in Singapore.
I brought this up to my family, and to White and Paul’s piano teacher (who was present), the “fake divorce” is no big deal, for they would simply reconcile after they get their apartments. I pointed out one issue – what if the other party changed their mind during their period of “divorce”? White retorted that in such a case, the divorce is actually a good thing. I was speechless. She was indeed right to say that.
I have made it very clear to Kitten that I will never “trade her in” for a “younger model”, to divorce her to marry a sweet young thing. A rash promise? I do not know. What I do know is that I say this from the bottom of my heart, and my readers on my blog now bear testimony to my words to her as well.
In sickness and in health, through richer or poorer, till death us do part. Amen.
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